What types of behaviour is harassment?
- Cat calling, wolf whistling, shouting unwanted comments, animal noises.
- Sexual comments or jokes about a woman.
- Unwelcome touching, kissing, groping.
- Talking to women on the street for no reason.
- Stalking.
- Pressure to go on a date, for a drink or to come home with someone.
- Indecent exposure.
- Comments or questions about one’s sex life.
- Sexist comments or jokes.
- Invasion of personal space.
- Pressing or rubbing against someone.
- Asking or soliciting sexual favours.
- Staring, leering, inappropriate and unwanted gestures.
- Predatory behaviour.
What can men do to be upstanders and not bystanders?
Men are the key to tackling violence against women and girls. We need men to be able to support and stand up for women and be a part of a change in culture.
Men can make a real difference in their daily interactions with family members, friends, peers and colleagues. They can challenge sexism and misogyny when they encounter it. Sometimes those everyday conversations around attitudes and behaviour can create real change and allow true reflection on feelings.
If you are a witness to a woman being harassed or intimidated by a man there are many ways in which you can help…
There is more than one way to intervene in a situation, it doesn’t have to be a confrontation.
Get help from an authority
Asking someone else to intervene could help de-escalate the situation. For example this could be a shop worker, bartender, police officer, bus driver etc.
Distract the perpetrator
You could ask for the time, or find another way to divert their attention away from her.
Document the harassment so it can be reported by the victim
You could film or record the audio of the harassment then provide it to the victim. This could help them report the harassment and bring the perpetrator to justice. Do not share recordings of incidents without the victim’s consent.
Confront the harasser directly
This can be easier depending on the situation, it should be easier with people you know or are friends who maybe acting inappropriately towards a women. If you are with a group of friends, encourage others to take the harasser away whilst you check that the woman is ok.
Call out the behaviour and then speak to reassure and support the victim. Try to avoid escalating the situation by engaging in a dialogue with the harasser.
If you feel there is a likely threat of violence towards the victim of harassment or yourself, you need to prioritise the safety of you both and should contact the police by calling 999.
Other ways to help being part of the solution to Violence Against Women and Girls
Men and boys can and must make a difference – we need to challenge the idea that “violence against women is caused by some bad men”. Most men might not use violence, but all boys and men have a responsibility to help prevent it. Destructive and violent masculinity norms also harm men and by challenging those norms, the lives of boys and men will get better.
Men can make a real difference in their daily interactions with family members, friends, peers and colleagues. They can challenge sexism and misogyny when they encounter it. Sometimes those everyday conversations around attitudes and behaviour can create real change and allow true reflection on feelings.
You can:
- Ask questions; Ask the women in your life what being a woman means to them and their feelings of safety.
Ask the men in your life what feeling safe to them means and how that differs. - Learn; Learn about gender inequality. Learn about discrimination and how that impacts individuals and groups.
- Think; about your behaviour and the behaviour of those around you and consider whether you have felt uncomfortable in a situation where a woman was being harassed.
- Share and discuss your learning, thinking and feedback with your friends, family, peers and colleagues.
- Call it out; Evoke an upstander approach to call out behaviour, attitudes and values exhibiting violence towards women and girls when you see/hear/read it. Be an effective upstander and use the Hollaback toolkit to help call out VAWG.
- Most importantly understand that everyone is different and appreciate these differences and seek to understand them by asking questions.
- The pursuit of gender equality must include social progress for other groups in society that have less power. This includes, but isn’t limited to those with disabilities, minority groups and the LGBTIQ+ community and other unheard or underrepresented groups.
Support for men
